Vault 88 has a lot to offer, but perhaps the most exciting venue must be the museum. It is a pleasurable experience from start to finish (mostly).
At the entrance you will be met by a nice, laid-back clerk. His name is Art. Art! He works in the museum and his name is Art. Amazing! It’s like he was born to do this.
The museum has a wide range of exhibits, some dated to be from pre-war times.
History nerds, you will not be disappointed.
Browse through this journey in history, back in time, from a pre-war america up to the present day, and maybe even a hint of where the future will take us.
The notes I took through my self-guided tour will be below (or next to, depending on your browser) the pictures, in the captions, in italic/cursive (not cursive like fuck, damn and shit, or Italic like “Ey–oh, fuhgeddaboutit” but like this, with skewed letters). The notes I made through the tour are shown unedited, so I will make additional comments below them to try and make sense of it.
See? I promise, this will be great.
The museum is a sizable one, considering the space in a vault is usually very limited, but in Vault 88, extra room is not an issue. It’s ginormous.
First off, they have a message to all visitors:
A bit ambiguously designed. I think it’s supposed to be read down up
On to the exhibits. We’ll start with my favorite.
Art said it was not for sale. Bummer.
The janitor (Art) had tried out the Institute sweeper from the “Old vs new”-exhibit to see if it was easier to use than his old broom.
Which makes a good transition to the next display:
I didn’t write any notes on this as I was more interested in making a good panning movement with the camera.
(Click to enlarge)
Here’s an exhibit showing what people used to play with in pre-war America (apart from their wangs! Haha! I’ll see myself out.)
Notice the gun and the bible at the end? Dark, man. Dark.
Harmless as they appear, these were used to sway others to one’s will. The left one, as a bribe to children (and some adults, mostly symbolic). The creepy one in the middle, to invoke fear in them, if bribery didn’t work. The last one, to blow them up if all else failed.
According to Art.
More realistically, I think these are meant to be metaphors for the escalation path in human quibbling. Convince with kindness (sincere or not), terrify into submission, or force your will.
Another shining analytic pearl from Art. I suspect he just wanted to cover up for not having cleaned the joint for a while.
I like the twist at the bottom. Clever.
The museum’s curator has never seen a Brahmin skull before, apparently.
Much of the stuff in here has a grim feel to it, but then again, so is history. My apologies for stuffing it in your face though.
Another display leaning towards the macabre.
Speaking of leaning. That smug bastard is the longest living cat of Vault 88. Incidentally outliving 4 of the other cat. I don’t want to speculate, but you are free to do so. We are thinking of the same thing, aren’t we? Yeah, we are.
It’s probably just an ordinary fire extinguisher. Handy if a fire were to break out.
Bitchin’ good photo though. Had to include it. Dem vivid colors. Dat strong contrast.
And now over to some famous people.
Okay, this museum isn’t exactly 100% accurate. I’ll give them an A for effort, despite them taking some gross creative liberties with history.
The Highbrow Section
Over to the more finer things. Luckily, they have a section that doesn’t rely on history as much. Let’s take a peek.
The glass case wasn’t sealed, at all. Lol. The recording tape was just an ad for Nuka Cola.
I’ll be honest. I started to think this whole place was a scam and became a bit tired of the whole thing. Almost walked out of there, but then this popped up:
Another gem in this museum is a post-apocalyptic collector’s wet dream. A display of items carefully preserved over 200 years. It’s the Overseer’s personal collection, protected with traps giving deterring shocks to anyone crossing the barrier, and those next to them, unfortunately.
If you are easily disturbed, skip the next part, please. Thou hathst been warned/warneth/warnedeth’d.
Yeah, so I found a dude forced into a confined space in a very unnatural position.
At least now I know what my next article will be about. Thank you, man-in-glass-display-case!
On my way out, I saw a mini-death-monster, playing around with the exhibits. The cracked deathclaw egg wasn’t supposed to be cracked. A newborn mini-deathclaw was now roaming about in the museum. An adorable little thing. It’s mauling claws was not that adorable though. They are surprisingly dangerous, even at that size. Not exactly house pets. Fortunately, it was more curious than murdery.
The guards had to put it down before anyone got attached to it. Apparently people get attached to the strangest things in a vault.
And with that, we have a natural end to the self-guided tour. This is not a museum you want to bring your kids to for a history lesson, but purely entertainment-wise, it’s a good way to kill some time.
happens is taught in the vault , stays in the vault, hopefully.
Click here to read the previous article in the series.