Galaxy Note 7

Close to everyone knows about the Galaxy Note 7 and it’s combustive feature by now, thanks to some explosively effective marketing by Samsung.

Still, there’s a select few people that either don’t know about the device’s destructive powers or does know and just plain refuses to return it.

I heard a rumor about a guy who belonged to the latter group, so I decided to track him down to see if I could figure out the reason for his risk appetite and defiance of reason.

His place of mustering was in Paris, France. Of course I would find a guy like that in Paris. Look at that pompous face (pardon my french):

Skjermbilde (54).png
Also, look to the right. Who the hell tattoos a barcode in the back of their neck? That guy apparently.

Disclaimer: I love Paris. I really do. It’s only downside is that it’s grandeur attracts self-inflating snobs.

I know, I know. It’s not nice bad mouthing someone behind their backs. From here on out I won’t write anything mean or judgmental about that smug motherfucker.

I asked him why he insisted on using the dangerous cellphone.

Skjermbilde (57).png
Seriously, look at that smug I’m-just-sooo-much-better-than-you face. Sorry. Last time.

Smugface replied: I bought one for my rightly accrued money. I won’t let myself be bossed around by big corporate fat cats, mostly because I am one myself.

Haa haa haa!

Though a tad slimmer and way more stylish. Now, this phone is unlike any other. I had it encrusted with diamonds, so I need not worry about it expanding. And why on earth do you think anyone would give me a faulty device? Hardly.

Now hush and take off. 

I guess that made sense in his head. Also, I think he used “hardly” wrong.

He got an incoming call, so I kept a safe distance. Just in case he got some bang for his bucks, so to speak.

He answered the phone in the middle of the other guy’s sentence. Didn’t even say “excuse me” or anything. Rude.

Nothing happened. One might say it was a close call.

I followed him into the bathroom. He left the phone on the sink, unattended. Made me get a good photo of it.

It could go off at any moment. Dangerous, but that’s what being a reporter is all about. Going places where others won’t.

Galaxy Note 7 on sink.png
I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not a pervert. This is journalism. Being invasive is part of the job. By the way, liar liar pants on fire. No diamonds (or they’re invisible diamonds)

He was going to stream a movie, which I knew was going to stress the battery. In pure protectionism I withdrew from the situation, inside behind a glass door. That thing could go off at any second.

I watched him for about 30 minutes, while enjoying some exquisite champagne.

And then:

Boom goes the dynamite! Brutal…

I felt kind of bad after having been so judgmental. It was easy to be before he went over the railing. Not so much after. Maybe he was just underappreciated as a child. Or pampered. Who knows?

His buddy flew over the railing with him. Poor guy. He didn’t ask for this.

Carrying highly volatile explosives.. Worse than drunk driving is what it is.

If you have a Samsung Galaxy Note 7, return it and treat yourself to something else. There’s plenty to choose from.

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