Phresh Pheed

Residents Of Vault 88 – Subject 8/16 – Bill


Who hasn’t even once, wished they could be a part of the wild west for a day?

Be it a gunslinger, to be part of the action, a bartender, to observe the action up-close, or merely a generic bystander, to witness the stand-offs at a distance.

If they had antibiotics, vaccines and chemotherapy, I’d be happy to join the crowd (or the black-hat gang).

Meet Bill.

Name: Bill / Billy The Kid
Occupation: Agriculturalist / Cowboy

Bill Billy The Kid inHydrophonics.png

RR: Bwah! *Cough* Damn *cough* –

Bill: You alright?

RR: It’s all the plants. Smells like hell in here. Nevermind that. How about you? Raking in the dough, huh?

Bill: Never heard that one before. Haha! Raking in the dough. You’re all right. First impressions are important. Especially in the old west. The wild west.

RR: You like the wild west?

Bill: It’s the best. Name’s Bill. I answer to Billy The Kid as well. You can call me that if you want to.

RR: Considering the strict rules around here, how do you find time to realize, or even entertain your dreams?

Bill: Imagination is your best friend down here. I like to pretend the hydroponics area is the field at my ranch. At my ranch, I work hard. I work hard as hell, raking in the dough. Gonna start using that one. Raking dough. Hah!

RR: What does a wild west-aficionado spend his hard earned money on?

Bill: I buy as much ammo for my six shooter as I can. Firing off rounds at the range is my favorite thing in the world. Shame the Overseer won’t let us carry guns around. Tried applying for a job as a guard, but apparently I’m a “red flag”, so I carry this wooden replica Bob made me, pretending it’s my pistol while walking into the saloon – the casino – and have myself some whiskey like the cowboys did.

RR: We all need a form of escapism once in a while.

Bill: I hear ya’. Speak of the devil and he doth appear. Look, there’s that damn Doug again.

RR: You have dogs here? I haven’t seen anyone.

Bill: No, it’s that annoying bohemian. Sssh, here he comes.

Doug: Howdy, partner! Can you plant a few of these seeds f-

Bill: Go. Away. I’m not stupid. How many times… If this was the wild west, I’d challenge you to a duel, like “not in my town, gringo” and pew pew. You’d be toast.

Doug: Rad, dude. Could go for some toast right now.

Bill: Damnit, Doug!

Doug: Shit! The narc again. C’yah.

RR: I’m a reporter!

Bill: Never mind him. He is… Challenged.

RR: Oh, you don’t say? Haha.

Bill: Well, I reckon’ it’s time to giddyup n’ get to work. These dern corncobs ain’t gonna reap themselves. Gonna have to catch ya’ later, old pal.

RR: So long, partner!

Nice guy that. If all the subjects were that nice, this interview thing would be a breeze.
The next guy was not as talkative as this one though.

In the next interview, watch a social faux pax deluxe edition extra ordinaire unravel.


Click here for the previous article in the series, before the interviews.

About Reckless Reporter (154 Articles)
This be the one and only reporter/journalist/daredevil for Game Cosmos Press Visit

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  1. Residents Of Vault 88 – Subject 14/16 – Brandon – Game Cosmos Press

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