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Residents Of Vault 88 – Subject 12/16 – Kane

 

Seriously, I did not approach this guy. If it was up to me, this interview would not exist.

Ostentatious. Obtrusive. Vainglorious.

Meet Kane.

Name: Kane

Occupation: Vault Evangelist / Narcissist

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Kane: Hey! You there! Haven’t seen you here before. Have you heard about the great Overseer and her vault?

RR: Standing in it.

Kane: Great! Have you ever felt the warm embrace of Vault 88?

RR: Now that you mention it, the steel plates are actually a bit cold. Hah. You know, I’m a bit busy, so if –

Kane: Of course you’ve heard of us, but have you really felt the glory and glowing embrace of Vault 88?

RR: Uhm… I’m actually a bit tired. How ’bout we take this another time?

Kane: Kick back and rap with me for a sec.

(This guy did not give up, so I figured I’d try and turn things around, and interview him)

RR: I’m a reporter, so how about I ask you some questions about how you make this vault a better place?

Kane: But yes, of course. What a magnificent idea! I inspire people, and teach them to live a good life by following the superior morals and guidelines of this perfect utopia.

RR: Aren’t you sugar-coating it a bit right now?

(He started singing)

Kane: Sugar in the mooorning! Aren’t YOU thankful each and every day you get to eat, sleep, behave and repeat?

RR: You’re avoiding my question. How –

Kane: The hat perfectly symbolizes us. Pride. Power. Order. Hard Working. Greatness, all in one structured package.

(The guy just kept talking and talking)

Kane: My dedication to the cause gives me free passes on certain things. Certain pleasures. A few times a month, I tease Cook, the chef, and get all the leftovers.

RR: Mhm. Go on. Really interesting. Uh-huh.

(“Inspired” by his words I walked over to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat. He pranced along, not far behind, talking and singing.)

Kane: I lied. I do it every day. Yum-yum! The food is just sooo good. Exquisite! It’s my one guilty pleasure.

(This went on and on and on, until the Overseer called him over the intercom).

Overseer Valery: Kane, stop disturbing the nice reporter and report to me. Please.

Kane: Oh, goodie! Another chance to please the supreme. Hey, you –

RR: Yes.

(The never-ending propaganda machine wanted me to take another photo before he left. This time of his “even better side”)

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Ugh. Going through my notes and writing them down here, reliving this horrible interview… Not sure if it was worth it.

By the next interview I hope you will regain some level of trust with me. I’m ashamed to call myself a reporter right now.


Click here for the previous article in the series, before the interviews.

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About Reckless Reporter (144 Articles)
This be the one and only reporter/journalist/daredevil for Game Cosmos Press

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  1. Residents Of Vault 88 – Subject 5/16 – Cook – Game Cosmos Press

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