I will make your call of nature as uncomfortable as possible

– Every porta-potty at every concert ever

Porta-potties

Cons:

• Almost always out of toilet paper
• The ring is never dry enough to sit on
• No sink to wash your hands
• If you’re lucky, there’s some antibacterial liquid outside (not removing all of the nasties)
• No drainage (close your eyes when approaching the hole)
• The toilet seat is warm

Pros:

• The only way to heed nature’s call at the given moment
• The toilet seat is warm

PS: Not using it may cause even greater discomfort and ruination, so everything is a strategic choice here.