There’s a rumor going around that the king, the exalted, the supreme leader of Kyrat, is gay.
Game Cosmos Press have been sent a couple of clues and decided to see if the rumor holds its humid.
Pagan Min accepted my request for an interview and invited me to his impressive palace.
His residence shows no effort to hide any sign of extravagance and taste for the finer things in life. Quite the opposite, in fact.
The interview went like this:
P = Pagan Min
R = Reckless Reporter
R: So, I’m going straight for the subject of question, here. I’m sure you’re aware of this, but there’s a rumor going around that you are gay. What are your comments on that? Is there something to the rumors?
P: Well, I thought that it was quite obvious. I like style, fashion, interior decor, as you can see. A typical, stereotypical flamboyant one.
R: Those are great hobbies, but I can’t say I would think of that as a typical south-asian stereotype.
P: That was not clear enough for you, huh? I’m a Mary.
R: Oh, I understand. So, you are catholic. That must put a few restrictions on how public you can be with being gay. If what the rumor mill says is true, of course.
P: I’m not catholic. I don’t need to hide anything. I’m exceptionally fabulous.
R: You sure are. Back to the question at hand. What I’m trying to ask you, is there a queen?
P: Oh, for the love of – I am the queen.
R: Ah, so there’s no one at your side? Running things by yourself as both king and queen? Must be a lot of work. What does a supreme leader do to wind down? I imagine you have more important things to do than smell the roses and wander in the fields of daffodils?
P: Weird way to ask a question, but I’ll give. I am a nationalist, but not a racist. In other words, I am not exclusively a rice queen, if that’s what you’re asking. I travel abroad to dance in the fruit basket. Just speaking about it makes my southern region rumble.
R: I think I know what you mean.
P: Yes! Finally. You’re not as dumb as I thought after all.
R: *hands Pagan a banana*
P: *Ripping his own hair in frustration*
R: I’m sorry if I have upset you. I understand it is a sensitive subject. Not everyone is comfortable talking about it.
P: How can I put it so you understand? I’m a gaysian.
R: I’m sorry, didn’t hear ya’. I was chewing on your Himalayan nuts. They are amazing! You said you’re a Geisha?
P: How are you not getting this?! I’m a sausage jockey. A fag, for fuck’s sake.
R: How rude. I’m sorry. Here’s a cigarette.
P: I. BANG. GUYS.
R: Ok, I get it. Don’t shoot me! No need to wave your gun around. Let’s calm down and restart. Simple question. Are you gay?
As a respectable reporter, honoring the codes of conduct in journalism, I respect his wishes to keep that part of his life private.
End of story. Don’t come here for getting this rumor confirmed or denied. We will just have to keep speculating.
Update: He actually confirmed “batting for the other team” (as he called it), on the radio as a public message right after I posted this article. He also added a few unflattering comments about a reporter who shall remain nameless (protecting privacy is important).
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