When this guy's a comin', you know you're going home with him. Alduin is a real ladies man. Also a man's man, I guess. Not sure if Alduin is even a "he" (Zee? Xhe? Or whatever the trend is these days). Just look at his wingspan. Gorgeous. Irresistible. Alduin doesn't handle rejection well, though. Safest … Continue reading “Whatcha doin’?” – Alduin the charmer
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
I think he’s onto me
Vampirism isn't the easiest of afflictions to live with, nor hide. Luckily, Isran isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Thankfully, I got off scot-free here, thanks to the leader of the primary organization responsible for fighting the vampire scourge being oblivious as hell (oblivion?). I'm seriously considering supporting the Dawnguard, out of sympathy for this … Continue reading I think he’s onto me
Douche Snow Elf Whacked
Long story short, we got into an argument between two snow elfs. One died. The one of a kind douche snow elf, Arch-Curate Vyrthur, seemed to have a life goal to piss off everything and everyone. He even managed to insult CuSith, the death hound's uneven teeth. "My Mother is a saint!" - Serena I guess … Continue reading Douche Snow Elf Whacked
Breaking: Dragons startle the fuck out of fisherman
A fisherman about to try ice fishing in the Forgotten Vale got the bejeebers scared out of him when strolling on a frozen lake. The sitch that made his pants warmer for a few minutes: Understandably, he did not want to revisit the lake to let me get some on-the-scene-photos. He preferred to give the … Continue reading Breaking: Dragons startle the fuck out of fisherman
Reader Suggestion – Skyrim Meme
A huge clap for Savior699 for making a hilarious caption to one of my desperate attempts at being funny through memes. Behold Addendum: You may think that Nords have a xenophobic attitude towards khajiits-Nord-luv. Before you think "Hell yeah, racist nordfucks" Consider these three facts: Skyrim is cold. Khajiits have fur. Nords love fur. Math: … Continue reading Reader Suggestion – Skyrim Meme
Inopportune confessions
I couldn't come up with better captions than these for some reason. If you have any ideas, put some words in the comment section and I'll make a post out of them. You'll be credited (and get a diamond trophy in Valhalla, Sovngarde) The last one is a stretch. It's embarrassing
Pick Up Line-Alduin
Did you know Alduin's a master pick-up artist? Trust Aldie to light up the club You know what they say - If only all women spoke french, and men dragon tongue. You're guaranteed some shouting from the back of the corner nearing closing time. And for the last one, an edgy, direct approach, when Mr. … Continue reading Pick Up Line-Alduin
The Drone Pilot’s Burden
A drone pilot has a responsibility like no other. The responsibility to give answers to questions the masses still don't know. Know that drones haven't been part of the curriculum and that the majority of people are, in layman's terms, "OMG, like so n00b" A drone pilot has a heavy weight on h*s/h*r shoulders. If … Continue reading The Drone Pilot’s Burden
Brave Or Brainless?
Why, oh why, brave soldier? Why doth thou charge thith... Thath.. Thy - Y U Do dis? U mad br0? U'll get dedded. He dead.
Bride Punched On Her Wedding Day
An event out of the ordinary took place during a wedding in Solitude, the capital of Skyrim. The cousin of Emperor Titus Mede II, Vittoria Vici, was about to give herself to her husband-to-be, Aquillius Aeresius, when a prankster decided to get his fifteen minutes of fame by punching the bride. Lucky for us (not … Continue reading Bride Punched On Her Wedding Day
