Phresh Pheed


All Hitman-related posts should end up here. As of now, there’s only one. Strange, huh?


Don’t worry though. There will be more.wp-1487337034487.jpg

I know waiting is not fun, so here’s a pic of 47 waiting in line.

47 Hangs Out With Robert De Niro - Our favorite silent assassin finally got to hang out with one of his all time heroes. 47, in a rare occurrence, sent us a few of his favorite moments. The widely known celebrity introduced 47 to other celebrities (that 47 didn’t know who was). As many exciting evenings, this too started with a few glasses of fermented grapes. With bolstered courage, 47 were taught how to approach Italian belladonna’s. Open mic night – Not everyone is a natural born performer. De Niro challenged 47 to a shot contest. As almost required in an all-nighter, a bit of friendly wrestling between the newfound bro’s ensued. In the heat of the moment, Robert accidentally called 47 a clone, a word he is somewhat sensitive of. They made up, and 47 was happy again. So happy that he found the courage to show off his mad skills on the dance floor. Knowing the bromancing was nearing its end, 47 hid for a while to postpone the inevitable The end approacheth… Approachetheded. Approached. One had to go back to being a great actor. The other, to silently assassinating others. They shook hands and nodded, parting ways without saying a word, like badass manly men [...]
Going To Church In Sapienza - Have you ever been inside a Catholic church? If not, read on. (do skim through anyway, if you want to) The one we will be visiting today is situated in Sapienza. Regular church attendance is an essential part of the Catholic doctrine. Not everyone does it, and it seems to be fewer as time is passing, but some still like this tradition. “It’s the biz” – Local churchgoer The churches themselves are impressive buildings made possible by hard work, architectural engineering and lots of money. Looking at the building from a distance is an impressive sight. The closer you get, the more intricate details become observable. Entering the ornate concrete building, you’ll be met by latin phrases mumbled by everyone and written on everything. If you fancy a place to sit, there will be free seating available on hard, splintered benches, called pews. The confession booth, a box in which you get a private audience with the local priest, and can confess to stuff you’ve done that, according to a book, shouldn’t have. All this in a real Sicilian gangster style way. Here we have a typical representative of the clergy, a priest: They offer customary bread and wine (it’s [...]
Not Everything Is A Great Combination - The possibility of two ingredients being able to be combined does not necessarily mean they have to be combined. Other notable mentions: Anchovies on pizza Bleach + Vinegar (toxic gas) Ibuprofen + Alcohol Two Different Battery Brands Pineapple on pizza But dat Pepsi Twist do’. Its discontinuation eludes even the wisest.
Mission Moderation Impossible -   Every time. Every single freakin’ damn time. Why? Oh yeah.. No impulse control whatsoever. Got it. Noted. Gonna remember that for next time. Like if.
VIP Tickets gets the best sound -   47’s hearing isn’t what it used to be, thanks to all the gunfire and explosions. “Only thing that drowns my tinnitus” – Unnamed Silent Assassin      
Food Poisoning At Ice Cream Store In Sapienza -   A case of food poisoning broke out at a local Gelateria in Sapienza, Italy today. None of the customers got sick, but both of the employees at the ice cream store were severely affected. “The power went off a few times. I had to turn it back on manually. It should not have caused any spoiled food since we only sell ice cream and sorbet. They can handle themselves without power for a few minutes” – The chef The investigators said they did not find the source making the employee’s sick, and only had this to say: “They’ll be fine. We’re not closing down a profitable joint just because of a few aching tummies” – Investigator Edit: Both the chef and the cashier say they found a needle mark in their backs. The working theory now is that they were infected by an insect. Disclaimer: Game Cosmos Press feels the headline is not misleading. Even though no food contamination was found, the public needs to be informed of possible gastronomic hazards.
The Robe Stays On -   Self-doubt always comes at the most crucial moment, when it is imperative that you are at your peak.
Just dealing with meme haters -   “Gotta make sure they like, comment and share” A somewhat more aggressive variant:
Unexplainable shift in interest -   “All of a sudden everything she said became incredibly fascinating” – 47 Another take on it:  
Galaxy Note 7 -   Close to everyone knows about the Galaxy Note 7 and it’s combustive feature by now, thanks to some explosively effective marketing by Samsung. Still, there’s a select few people that either don’t know about the device’s destructive powers or does know and just plain refuses to return it. I heard a rumor about a guy who belonged to the latter group, so I decided to track him down to see if I could figure out the reason for his risk appetite and defiance of reason. His place of mustering was in Paris, France. Of course I would find a guy like that in Paris. Look at that pompous face (pardon my french): Disclaimer: I love Paris. I really do. It’s only downside is that it’s grandeur attracts self-inflating snobs. I know, I know. It’s not nice bad mouthing someone behind their backs. From here on out I won’t write anything mean or judgmental about that smug motherfucker.   I asked him why he insisted on using the dangerous cellphone. Smugface replied: I bought one for my rightly accrued money. I won’t let myself be bossed around by big corporate fat cats, mostly because I am one myself. Haa haa haa! Though a tad [...]

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